on loss

September 13, 2017 § Leave a comment

swimming into the space of without 
having one fully there
and then not 
you feel 
so fully, and don’t believe 
you’ve ever felt
as much as you do, 
now,
that you’ve felt loss, 
now 
that you’ve felt thoughts
wring themselves dry
in your hands
so fully
I wonder
at the very same time
both, if I’ll ever have any more 
thought
to think and if I’ll ever 
be able to grasp 
a moment of calm 
when my mind isn’t 
spinning 
frantically in circles, 
loss
that so fully awakens you 
makes you 
present, but oppressively 
makes you 
absent, presses every inch 
of your mind, pulls every fiber 
of your being apart, no matter who 
made the decision 
the call
the whisper of doubt
the degree
to which you feel is so 
ever 
present, here
pulling your tendons in 
every direction
leaving you to fully feel
still, numb, torn, broken
loneliness though is a gift
of resilience 
it gives 
perspective
pulls together the heart
stitches it up
makes you wash your hair
toast your bread
get on with your day
keeps your heart 
tapping, lungs 
gasping, feet 
stepping, hands 
typing
albeit 
pounding, 
sharply, 
numbly, 
achingly,
at times
it’s amazing 
despite the weight
the things you feel
when you let yourself 
feel…
your mind 
and heart and cells
are capable of expressing
everything, just cells, 
pieces of the earth 
we’re just pieces
of this place, yet
we feel so deeply
we think so profoundly 
it’s a gift
I can’t express
my thanks
how lucky am I
to have met another soul, 
perhaps, just once in this life,
who made me feel so 
deeply

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Sept 1

September 2, 2017 § 2 Comments

for the start…

the sense of heart

is best kept, not within, 

but without, aloud,

when we’re born we can’t speak

but we sense, we share, 

perhaps, when we find our voice

do we forget how to feel? sense? care? 

dreamer

September 27, 2016 § Leave a comment

every thought becomes caught
on the next in my mind
it’s a web chasing time
in a tangle of silk
that falls from my grip
gently tugging at reality
the outline catches light
and a path intercepts
only to be swept away
by tessellations of sound
and thoughts that surround
thoughts of what should be

but what about me?

perspective

April 10, 2016 § Leave a comment

from here,
the expansive sky appears still,
a serene pool of black
spilling over with eyes
as twinkling stars, their light spreads
across our faces, their depth remains
a mystery, as we look up
from here.

like us,
they misalign, wander,
fade, become lost in blinding waves of black,
it’s a wonder they can breath,
it’s a wonder they find the surface
of our small rock
their light swimming through
the depths of their lonely home
positioned so far, they find
enough light, always,
to radiate 

through space
through years
through lifetimes
through innumerable expanses of darkness.
their light dives down
all the way
to us,
to here,
spilling perspective
across our eyes

 

Reminder

November 13, 2014 § Leave a comment

Sometimes I feel the weight of everything directly upon me,
but I mean, in a good way.

Not in a way that suppresses or brings anxiety aloft.
In a way that frees.

When I’m driving at night and the streets are full of cars
but everyone is reduced to two lights
and I ask myself where I’m truly going
and the stars form a welcome blanket overhead
guiding me and everyone, all of our lights,
along our individual journeys, I feel it.

And it suddenly becomes so apparent
that our individual journeys
are so far from that.

The depth of this huge, gigantic world rests
upon all of us, peacefully and meaningfully.
It grasps onto our shoulders,
and urges us not to forget that it’s there.

enough

November 11, 2014 § 2 Comments

there are so many
wishes I need to realize
is there enough time

our motion

October 15, 2014 § Leave a comment

like the gentle cracks on the walls
of my one hundred year home,
stillness won’t stop age.

it may bring years of observation
but what is observation

without subsequent
conversation
exploration
jubilation

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